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A Mother's Pain: Local moms who lost sons in Iraq don't support fellow mom's vigil

BY KRISTEN CATES
THE SOUTHERN

Tuesday, August 16, 2005 6:58 AM CDT

SOUTHERN ILLINOIS - Marla Uhles lost her son, Marine Lance Cpl. Drew Uhles on Sept. 15 in Iraq.

Therefore, she understands the pain Cindy Sheehan of California is feeling at the loss of her son in Iraq.

However, Marla Uhles said she has a difficult time supporting Sheehan as she continues her vigil outside President Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas. Sheehan has staged the vigil in attempt to get an audience with the president to talk to him about her opposition to the American military presence in Iraq.

"Well we would all like to ­;(meet with the President), but I know that's not possible," Marla Uhles said.

She has another son, Sgt. Neil Uhles, still serving in Iraq. She said from the way her two sons always talked, the images displayed on television of death tolls and destruction are not the every day scene in Iraq.

"We don't know because we've never been there," Marla Uhles said.

Drew Uhles died during an ambush in the Al Anbar province of Iraq. He suffered shrapnel wounds to the lower abdomen and died while being evacuated. He died just four days before his 21st birthday.

Since setting up camp outside the president's ranch more than a week ago, Sheehan has gained national media attention, filmed a television commercial and has won support from several political, anti-war agencies.

Marla Uhles said Sheehan has gone "overboard" and it has become more about the publicity.

"I don't know, I think she's more out for herself right now than for her son," she said.

Lisa Short said some days are better than others since learning in early November that her son, Lance Cpl. Aaron Pickering, had been killed while fighting in Fallujah. She still holds onto the last letter Aaron sent her and reads it almost daily. She reread it again Monday.

"He said, 'Mom, our presence here is necessary,'" Short said.

That's why she said it's difficult for her to believe in Sheehan's cause. This is an all-volunteer military, she said, you sign up knowing you might put yourself in harm's way.

"That's the whole point of joining the military," she said. "I don't support what she's doing. I just can't."

She said perhaps it is Sheehan's grief that has propelled her to take her cause this far. She understands that feeling of losing a son at such a young age. Aaron was 20 when he died.

"Sometimes you feel desperate enough to do anything," she said. "I don't understand the point of it - it's disrespectful to our kids."

Melinda Astin said even though two months have passed since her 20-year-old son Sgt. Brian Romines died, the days are still difficult - sometimes more difficult than in the beginning.

Romines died June 6 when his convoy headed through Baghdad and a roadside bomb exploded.

"The pain is still there," she said. "I cry more now than I ever did."

Astin said she knows about the pain of losing a son.

"I sympathize with anyone who has lost a child," Astin said. "But all I can do is support the troops right now."

As a mother, Astin said she wants to see all of the young men and women come home safely.

"I'm not going to sit here and judge her for hurting," she said.

She is a mother, but there is more to this war than just the politics and policies.

"As a mother, yeah I want them all back home," Astin said. "As an American, I support the troops."

kristen.cates@thesouthern.com

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